Funniest Passages in the Bible, Continued…
Several years ago we did a post on the funniest passages in Scripture. David Lehr contributes this as a belated entry in that series…
A nomination for your list of funniest verses in Scripture, from a while back:
2 Samuel 16
5 And when king David came to Bahurim, behold, thence came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera: he came forth, and cursed still as he came.
6 And he cast stones at David, and at all the servants of king David: and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. 7 And thus said Shimei when he cursed, Come out, come out, thou bloody man, and thou man of Belial:
8 The LORD hath returned upon thee all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose stead thou hast reigned; and the LORD hath delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom thy son: and, behold, thou art taken in thy mischief, because thou art a bloody man.
9 Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head.
Ok, now I feel like a complete and total idiot, because I don’t get this one either.
Dear Michelle,
It’s not so complex. The question, “Should this dead dog curse my lord the king?” followed by the request, “…let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head,” is pretty and terrible, formal and awful at the same time. There’s an incongruity between the niceness of the language and the nastiness of the intention.
Yours in Christ,
David Bayly
And many years later we see that David has not forgotten this insult. Which is funny to me as it shows David had an ego too.
David gives his charge to Soloman immediately preceding his death.
I Kings 2:8&9
8 “And remember, you have with you Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite from Bahurim, who called down bitter curses on me the day I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the LORD: ‘I will not put you to death by the sword.’
9 But now, do not consider him innocent. You are a man of wisdom; you will know what to do to him. Bring his grey head down to the grave in blood.”
Translated: Go get him, boy!
I always thought Jonah chapter 4 was really funny.
“Doest thou well to be angry?”
Always brings a smile to my face.
Hmmm. 1 Samuel 9 in the KJV has to be right up there.
Last verse in Exodus 20 – take it how you will
John 4:16-17 (New International Version)
16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”
17 “I have no husband,” she replied.